Monday, June 29, 2009

Boys will be boys...

My dad has been itching since I was pregnant with Wyatt for the day when he would be old enough to take him to his first major league baseball game. A little background...both my dad and Scott pitched in college so baseball is THE sport in their eyes. Lucky for them, Wyatt loves it, too! That day finally came this past weekend. So, Grandaddy, Scott and Wyatt headed off on Friday to Atlanta to see the Braves play the Boston Red Sox (Scott was loving it since Boston is his favorite team). They hit a sports store on the way down, spent the entire evening at the ballpark (seriously, they didn't leave until 11:30- only 4 hours past Wyatt's bedtime and he was on an all-time high when I talked to him at almost midnight) and then spent Saturday shopping at the Bass Pro Shop in Atlanta & eating at the infamous Varsity. The boys returned home Saturday evening absolutely pooped...but with memories to last a lifetime...or, at least, until next year!


Wyatt and Grandaddy at Turner Field

Wyatt throwing strikes in the kid's zone! He was pitching at 31 mph & hitting the glove! Not too shabby for a 5 year old!


I get a kick out of these pictures. He's so serious! He was the youngest kid to get in and pitch, too.


Wyatt wore his Red Sox hat but was given a Braves hat when he pitched so he wore both of them throughout the game...usually changing them back and forth to the team who was doing the best at that moment. After Big Poppy's homerun, he left the Red Sox hat on!

Boys will be boys!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

What's in a name?

Luke's first name was given to us. It's always been a contender. It is the first name that I wrote in Wyatt's baby book beside the "other names considered" section. It was a given when we found out that baby #3 would be another boy. There were too many reasons. You've read most of them already. Scott and I had discussed the name Luke many times when expecting Wyatt but we never had a middle name to go with it. We didn't like any other family names with it. We didn't have any other favorites. Nothing really seemed to fit. Nothing. Until now.
When we found out we were having a boy, Scott and I just stared at each other. We knew this little boy would be named Luke but we had not even discussed a middle name (because, as you all know, I was holding out and convinced I was getting another girl). So, the first order of business was to name our baby so we could begin praying for him by name. Apparently, there was a lot of thinking going on between the two of us for quite some time about the possibility of a little boy and a good middle name to go with Luke but neither of us said a word. It was at that moment that Scott had placed a "little peanut" outfit on my lap to celebrate our new found news that a little boy is on the way that I asked Scott what his middle name would be. He said "what about Graham?". Somehow, for the first time in 9 years, Scott read my mind! We had both been thinking for months that Graham was right for so many reasons.
Some of you may remember our first trip to MUSC when I was expecting Annabelle. It was September 2008 and we had just found out that she would be born with half a heart. What we didn't share was just how easy termination had been presented to us. It was just another option in the three choices we were given. Satan was working. Hard. I had always been pro-life and couldn't possibly ever consider ending my child's life but somehow that option started to look easier...for her, for me, for everyone involved. I hardly slept and sobbed most of the day. I cried so hard begging God to take this away and heal her before any other decision had to be made. The enemy had me convinced that it was going to be better to end it now rather than put her through so much pain. After all, it's not fair and no child should ever have to endure open heart surgery at four days of age...and only God knew what would happen from there on out. My mind was so confused and my heart so incredibly torn. I asked the doctor again about how long I could go before having to make a choice. He told me that due to medical reasons, I could have a later termination. I had three weeks left to choose. Another temptation by the enemy. I don't blame the doctor. I blame Satan. He knew that I was devesatated and he preyed on it. It was on the request of Scott and my daddy that I decided to go to MUSC before making a decision. I wanted to have all the information that I could. I wanted to be informed as well as possible so that I could make the best choice for my daughter. Thinking that this was actually my choice proves what the enemy had done to my mind.
Just a few days later, Scott and I dropped Wyatt off at my dad's house and headed to Charleston for an early appointment. We didn't speak much on the way. We both felt as though we were going to learn that it would be better to terminate and that we wouldn't be able to withstand all the information we would learn. First, they did an echo to confirm Annabelle's heart as it had been diagnosed here. Then, the pediatric cardiologist came in to talk to us about her heart and answer any questions we had. He is usually attending the ICU and rarely reads echos but was there on that day...the day we needed his optimism and hope. He spent over two hours answering every single question we could think of and even gave us a tour of the ICU so we would know exactly where our daughter would be. He showed us the surgeon attending to a baby just after surgery. He walked us past a little older child in a bouncy seat about to go to moderate care. I asked him about what was allowed and learned that my baby girl could indeed wear a hairbow. I also asked him about termination. His refused to talk about it. That was not his area. It was obvious from his response that he only held hope for these babies. He had devoted his life to helping these precious children. His compassion for them was stronger than I had ever seen in a doctor. God used him that day to be His vessel of hope to us.
On the ride home, there wasn't any doubt about what choice we would make. God had already made it for us in blessing us with a child...His child. She didn't belong to us. She was His perfect creation and we could only honor Him with her life. When we returned to my dad's house, we shared everything we learned and prayed together as a family. My daddy still says that we came back with hope and that we were different from that day forward.
I continued to email the pediatric cardiologist at MUSC throughout my pregnancy. He wanted to see how things were going and I would ask any other questions that came to mind. Toward the end of December, I told him that we had scheduled a c-section for January 28th. He responded to let me know that he would be in the ICU that week and would be attending the following week. The two most critical weeks of Annabelle's life and he would be there.
Three days following Annabelle's birth, Scott and he joked about her being the only one to ever have a bow fashion show the day before open heart surgery. It was that conversation that led to the Annabelle Baskets...that every child should have what she was given on that day.
On March 27, 2008, he emailed me before I even got home from the hospital. We spoke frequently for the weeks following as he sought to help me understand what happened and, mostly, just listened. One month later, I was not surprised to see that he was the one attending the day that I delivered the first batch of Annabelle Baskets.
Throughout the following months, he spent many times answering even more emails and visiting with Scott and me when we were making more deliveries. When we first shared with my daddy on January 6th that we were expecting again, he asked who else knew. We hadn't said a word to anyone but Annabelle's cardiologist. For some reason, we wanted him to be the first to know. He had become family.
And just a month ago, he was able to read Luke's echo and tell us that they were the best pictures of a heart that he had seen in a long time. We then shared with him that we would like to name our third miracle after him for all that he means to us...but, mostly, for being God's vessel to our family when we needed it most. He has impacted our lives in ways we will never forget.
Thank you, Eric. May you always know that God is using you in mighty ways.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Thank You Riverland Hills Baptist Church VBS!!!

We just finished an amazing week of Vacation Bible School with a whopping 850+ children and more than 400 workers! I enjoyed being Wyatt's group leader and had two wonderful youth to help me. Each year, along with crafts, music, bible stories and recreation, the VBS directors choose a missions project to support. This year the children made items to be sent to Romania and collected items for the Annabelle Baskets! The older children (grades 1-5) also made fleece baby blankets to go into the baskets. Scott and I were speechless when we saw the items all given to support a ministry that has been totally God-ordained. It took close to an hour to load everything up (with the help of the missions director, Rebecca Berry, my dad, Scott and Wyatt) and at least an hour to unload it all at home this afternoon. As Scott and I were going through everything, we said "who could have possibily imagined all of this?"...only to very quickly answer ourselves..."God did." I am constantly left in awe!
Just see for yourselves a bit of what God can do!
Keep in mind these pictures show about half of it...just what we could fit into the pictures. The walls are stacked with fleece blankets!
Thank you RHBC VBS!!!!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Prayers for Lindsay


Precious Praying Friends~

I come to you again asking for prayers for a little princess that we've all fallen in love with...most recently as she received her new heart and was recovering so well. She has had a rough morning and is now on ECMO (life support). They are running tests to find out what exactly happened. In all of this, we know that God is in control. He knew this was going to happen and He has created everything to be perfect in His time. We are praying His Words back to Him knowing that He has a purpose for Lindsay and it is not to harm her, but to give her a HOPE and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). Please dirty your knees for this precious child of God and her beautiful family flooding the gates of Heaven on their behalf.

Believing in MIRACLES!


Friday, June 12, 2009

Potty Time...and my firstborn's room!


Nothing like a fun home tour to take your mind off of things! So, here's to more FUN!!!

Today we're touring bathrooms...definitely not the highlight of our home but probably the most used (aside from the kitchen & great room). We have 2 1/2 baths...I am sharing pictures of Wyatt's bathroom & our half bath which serves as the central hand washing station and potty for our guests! I am thinking about doing a big catch up post that will include the master bath...hopefully soon! Being a SAHM, my life is our family and our home so this is really fun! I've also enjoyed taking a peek inside other homes & getting some great ideas! Hope y'all enjoy!



Wyatt's Froggy Bathroom...



I love this print that I found on ebay (I have two more coordinating prints on the opposite wall). I love to monogram & personalize so I put Wyatt's name or initials on just about everything he wears or uses. At least it helped him to spell his name at a very early age! :)


The border placed at chairrail height...also another ebay find! I thought it was too cute!

The half bath...I didn't think you'd care to see the potty so here's a view of the sink. I also love toile so my crafty mother-in-law hung this beautiful wallpaper above the chairrail for me! I am not a wallpaper person but I just love it in this small bathroom! It really makes the room!



Since the nursery got so much buzz the other week...I have to be a fair mommy & show off my big boy's room, too! Here's Wyatt's room:

The view from his door. Wyatt just got this bunk bed about a month ago. He used to sleep in a family heirloom white iron bed but we've moved it downstairs into the Annabelle Basket/guest bedroom. I got this bunk bed, which has a double bed that goes under the loft, off of craigslist from a precious family that just moved to our area & didn't have room for it. Wyatt LOVES it! I imagine there will be a little brother who wants to sleep with his big brother one day...so we'll add the double bed before too long!



Another view...my Papa Cole built the toy box for Wyatt. He built all of the great-grands one before he passed several years ago. Wyatt's was the last one he built so it's very special to us! The painted canvas was my attempt to copy a Pottery Barn baseball jersey print that I loved...I am not an artist but I thought it turned out pretty good!






Wyatt's chest of drawers...with some more baseball stuff! He loves trophies so Scott gave him his MVP trophy from college & Wyatt treasures it! He also has his USC Gamecock Baseball Coach Tanner ball on display there...Wyatt met him when Scott's company was building the new stadium and Coach Tanner was just great with him and showed him all around his office and shared stories with him about his little boy, too!


This used to be Wyatt's quilt rack over his crib from his nursery but I used it over his window to display more & put his window treatment where the quilt used to hang!


Last but not least, his baseball bat chair...RED SOX, of course!!!


Hope Y'all Enjoyed it!!!



Wednesday, June 10, 2009

A Change is Gonna Come

I come to this blog daily...wanting to add so much but not being sure of what to say. For many months, I was able to spill my soul here and find comfort in your comments and supportive friendships across the blog-world. I have been touched deeply by your love for our family and for the ministry of the Annabelle Baskets. I still feel that same comfort but it's changing and it's not what it was almost 2 years ago. Our lives are changing. Our family is changing. I am changing and I want to share that part, too.
I like to have a plan and know which direction I am heading. It's part of being the first born personality, I think. It just comes with who I am and what I want out of life. I like knowing what's coming. My mother hit the nail on the head when she wrote in my baby book that "she doesn't like change" and she had that figured out before I was two! I want a heads up and, usually, like to be the one to be giving the heads up because it was something that I had decided on in the first place. I have learned over and over just how often none of that happens...especially for me, the one who fights change with fists flying. So, as I want so desperately to share my heart with you more often, I just find myself not knowing what to say because I, ultimately, don't know what's going on...just what God has given me today. And, that's little by little starting to be okay by me.
I have met several times, since losing Annabelle, with a mentor who lost her daughter 17 years ago at the age of 17. After her daughter's passing, she went back to college and earned a doctorate in grief counseling. I never understood her exactly except for the fact that I knew I couldn't understand. It wasn't until I was in her shoes that I got it. It's a place you never want to be in and, to quote another mom who lost a daughter, a club you never want to join. It's something that I was just starting to figure out and it's different all over again. I seem to be frozen- not sure of what to do or how to approach the quickly changing future of our family. I was just starting to get brave and okay with answering the dreaded question about how many children I have..."Wyatt has a little sister who we loved on for 2 months and now she is loved on by Jesus"...or, one of my favorite answers was when Wyatt was with my dad for a night and Scott and I were out and we ran into an old friend who asked about our children "They are with their grandparents" (technically, they were...Wyatt with my dad and Annabelle with my mom- I thought that one was clever!). It was just easier to get around those but now it seems so much more complex. Wyatt is constantly being asked if he's excited about being a big brother and he looks at these strangers like they're nuts. He will then whisper to me as we are walking away "but, Mommy I am already a big brother. Don't they know that we're having another baby?" I hurt knowing that it confuses him just as much as it pains me to admit that my second miracle isn't with us.
I am thrilled to pieces to be having another boy. Just as long as our baby is healthy, I could really care less what the gender is. But, a part of me still is so scared of losing another child. Yes, I know all the tests have been wonderful but when you've been where I've been and experienced how quickly everything can change, your heart wants to protect itself so desperately from unimaginable pain again. God bless my husband for the countless nights that I have woken up and asked him to check on Wyatt because I couldn't hear him breathing on the monitor. The reality of what can happen just stares you in the face and satan uses it to inject intense fear into every part of your being. There is a war and the enemy knows my insecurities and has tried and will continue to try to rob this joy that God has given.
So, getting back to my mentor friend...I saw her a month or so ago and told her that I was just having that hardest time trying to figure this all out (naturally). The best advice that I think I've ever been given was shared with me..."Don't try to figure it out. Just embrace it and enjoy it."
That's where I am today...embracing this new normal and enjoying every single kick that sends me into laughter and praying daily and sometimes by the moment for the fear to diminish and for God's hope to fill me to the point where I need absolutely nothing else.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Prayers for this little princess...


Lindsay's waiting & watching for her plane to land because...
HER NEW HEART IS ON IT!!!
I just received a call from Lindsay's mommy, Suzie, letting me know that Lindsay is getting her new heart tonight! Please join hands in prayer for a perfect miracle for Lindsay and her beautiful family. You can read more about this precious baby girl (who turns 1 in one week!) at http://lindsaysheart.blogspot.com/
"For I know the plans I have for Lindsay," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper her and not to harm her, plans to give her a HOPE and a Future!" Jeremiah 29:11